An interview with Vladimire Calixte

Where are you from?

I am a native of Haiti. I migrated to the US at the age of 8. Since migrating from Haiti, I have resided in Brooklyn, New York my entire life.

When and why did you begin writing?

I enjoyed writing since Elementary school. I was the person who was always writing letters to everyone to express my thoughts and feelings. I love to write because I have come to believe that there is nothing more powerful than putting pen to paper. Additionally, it is very cathartic.

What inspired you to write Naked and Transparent: Six Vital Tools for Knowing Yourself and Attracting Healthy Relationships?

My father’s absence was the genesis of it all. I know what it feels like to grow up without a father. My mom did her very best as a single mother; however, my father’s absence was very painful for me for a long time. Living that experience was a source of hurt, anger and feelings of diminishment. I know the feeling of “emptiness” and “worthlessness” because I thought at the time, that maybe I was not good enough for my father to stay around. Conversely, when I came to the understanding through self-awareness that he chose not to be around, I was able to journey from pain to inner peace. The purpose of writing this book is to help readers find purpose in their pain by coming to know themselves at their core. Once you are self-aware, you become relationship conscious. We all bring our fears, vulnerabilities, emotional wounds, and issues from our past relationships to our new relationships. Until these issues are dealt with, they will infect every aspect of a person’s life. We cannot change what we are not aware of. Self-awareness allows us to pose the following question to ourselves: “Who am I attracting and why am I attracting this kind of person?”

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

My passion in writing Naked and Transparent is to help readers journey from a life of pain to true inner peace, by coming to know who they really are.

Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

Events in my own life, as in parts of the book, I talk about a horrific fire that occurred at age 14 on a very cold January night.

What are your current projects?

My children’s picture book titled, The Power of My Words will be my next release in the summer of 2015. I am so excited! I am passionate about helping people-men, women and children, to live powerful lives. It’s about meeting people where they are and taking them where they want to be.

Do you see writing as a career?

I see my writing as a passion. A passion to serve! A passion to infect people with my words.

Can you share a little of your current work with us?

Sure.. The following is an excerpt from Chapter 3: Putting Putting a Name to Your Wound:

“Emotional pain can be harder to deal with than physical trauma. This is because there’s nothing to point to — no blood and no broken bone. Our emotional distress is invisible to the naked eye. It’s important for us to remember that the past, unless effectively dealt with, is your present. Furthermore, until you recognize that hidden wound, it will emerge in all of your relationships. Thus, you must deal directly with the hurt. Pinpointing the impairment will provide satisfying relief by acknowledging the depth of what you have been through and to be able move forward. What’s more, your response to what happened will begin to make sense. You will no longer think something is wrong with you because you simply cannot “get over it.” You will begin to understand that your pain is so deep and so profound that you need self-compassion, not criticism.
There is no “right” way to identify your wound. There is only your own truth. For many of us, emotional wounds left untended will indeed worsen and continue to contaminate our relationships with others and with ourselves. They will manifest in unhealthy behaviors, such as overeating, sexual or shopping addictions, drug use, and other self-destructive actions. We must reconsider what is really going on and become more honest about it. When we treat our wounds and our responses to them — fear, rage, shame, and resentment — as foreign bodies that threaten our wellbeing, we become more willing to search deep within ourselves to remove them. It can be terrifying to go to that place where our darkest feelings lie; however, there is no other way forward – at least no other healthy way. And know this: shame and fear are not part of your natural self. I have come to understand that self-awareness is one of the main ingredients to getting back to our natural, authentic selves. Moreover, self-awareness is the greatest enemy of shame. Take a moment and think about your last physical wound. Did the wound heal? How long did it take to heal? We cannot cure the lesions simply by ignoring the hurt. Without applying the correct treatment, we have little hope for healing and positive, lifelong change.”

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

You are NOT a defect. You are someone who has been wounded and need time to heal. But know and trust that in YOUR time, you will HEAL. So take all of the time you need!!

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